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I wish you could see the sadness of a business man as his
livelihood goes up in flames or that family returning home,
only to find their house and belongings destroyed.
I wish you could know what it is to search a burning bedroom
for trapped children, flames rolling above your head,
your palms and knees burning as you crawl, the floor
sagging under your weight as the kitchen beneath you burns.
I wish you could comprehend a wife's horror at 3 a.m.
as I check her husband of forty years for a pulse and find none.
I start CPR anyway, hoping against hope to bring him back,
knowing intuitively it is too late. But wanting his wife
and family to know everything possible was done.
I wish you knew the unique smell of burning insulation,
the taste of soot-filled mucus, the feeling of intense heat
through your turnout gear, the sound of flames crackling,
the erieness of being able to see absolutely nothing in dense
smoke - sensations that I have become too familiar with.
I wish you could understand how it feels to go to school
in the morning after having spent most of the night
hot and soaking wet at a multiple alarm fire.
I wish you could read my mind as I respond to a structure fire,
"Is this a false alarm or a working breathing fire? How is the
building constructed? What hazards await me? Is anyone
trapped?" Or to an EMS call, "What is wrong with the patient?
Is it minor or life-treating? Is the caller really in distress
or is he waiting for us with a 2x4 or a gun?"
I wish you could be in the emergency room as a doctor
pronounces dead the beautiful little 5 year old girl that I have
been trying to save during the past twenty-five minutes who
will never go on her first date or say the words,
"I love you, Mommy" again.
I wish you could know the frustration I feel in the cab engine,
the driver with his foot pressing down hard on the pedal,
my arm tugging again and again at the air horn chain,
as you fail to yield right-of-way at an intersection or in
traffic. When you need us, however, your first comment upon
our arrival will be, "It took your forever to get here!"
I wish you could know my thoughts as I help extricate a girl of
teenage years from the mangled remains of her automobile,
"What if this were my sister, my girlfriend, or a friend?
What were her parents' reactions going to be as they opened
the door to find a police officer, hat in hand?"
I wish you could know how it feels to walk in the back door
and greet my parents and family, not having the heart to tell
them that I nearly did not come back from the last call.
I wish you could feel my hurt as people verbally, and sometimes
physically, abuse us or belittle what I do, or as they express
their attitudes of, "It will never happen to me."
I wish you could know the physical, emotional and
mental drain or missed meals, lost sleep and forgone social
activities, in addition to all the tragedy my eyes have viewed.
I wish you could know the brotherhood and self-satisfaction
of helping save a life or preserving someone's property, or
being there in times of crisis, or creating order from total chaos.
I wish you could understand what it feels like to have a little
boy tugging at your arm and asking, "Is my Mommy okay?"
Not even being able to look in his eyes without tears from your
own and not knowing what to say. Or to have to hold back a
long-time friend who watches his buddy having rescue breathing
done on him as they take him away in the ambulance.
Unless you have lived this kind of life,
you will never truly understand or appreciate who I am,
what we are, or what our job really mean to us. | | |
| Mama told me, when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely, to what I say.
And if you do this
It will help you some sunny day.
Ohh take your time... Don't live too fast,
Troubles will come, and they will pass.
Go find a woman and you'll find love,
And don't forget son,
There is someone up above.
And be a simple kind of man.
And maybe some day you'll love and understand.
Baby be a simple kind of man.
Won't you do this for me son,
If you can?
Forget your lust for the rich man's gold
All that you need is in your soul,
And you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.
Boy, don't you worry... you'll find yourself.
Follow you heart and nothing else.
And you can do this if you try.
All I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.
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| so apparently the world has short term memory hence the fact that I have to keep repeating myself so i will say it again.... I am not in the habbit of saying what people want to hear... I will give my honast opion so if you dont want to hear it dont ask. If you dont like what I have to say deal with it its not the end of the world and in all probbability it doesnt involve you anyway. And if I seen unsympathetic im fucking sorry I have bigger problems. I do not understand why some people can be so happy in their own unhappiness. I dont agree with it and I dont encourage it. excuse me ... ive had a shitty day | | |
| Have you ever been so lonely,
No one there to hold?
Pull me in or disown me,
And then climb inside.
My arms are open wide.
Have a look inside.
It is not that I am scared to learn,
Why I'm empty inside.
hold my hand or show some concern,
If I live or die.
My eyes are open wide.
Help me look inside.
I hear the water drip from the faucet.
It's sweetly falling in tune.
I'm gently closing the closet.
I fall to the floor,
and crawl to my room.
The thought of ending it soon...
Just let me sleep in my room.
Hear me cry! cry! cry!
I hear a knock at the front door.
Don't come in!
I try to look at you
But I can't stop shaking.
Leave me alone. Just go away.
Mother I'm so scared.
Empty bed and all of the sheets are gone,
They're wrapped around me and you.
All is quiet but the drop of a gun.
I want to belong...to someone...
But maybe life's not for everyone.
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| So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
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